Letters to the Esteemed Editor in Chief
Dear Orange Forest Orator Quarterly,
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Did I mention thank you? I devoured each and every article from Volume 6, Issue 1 on the new Orange Forest Online site, and let me tell you, it’s probably the best online experience I’ve had since back in the Geocities days. Such a sleek and clean site that delivers the news just how I like it: clear cut, no BS, and no sensational editorializing. And while I never pay attention to clickbait website ads, I did notice that all your ads are for locally owned OF businesses. I commend you for that. Much rather see ads for Atellan’s and Garb Science than for some NYC scam or SF con.
Thanks again,
Appreciative Orator Aficionado
Editor’s Response
Dear Appreciative Orator Aficionado,
The Orator is duly appreciative of your appreciation. We remain committed to delivering the highest level of unbiased, non-sensationalized, investigative journalism our readers expect.
Dear OFOQers,
Can we all be honest about the situation at hand? There won’t be no homologation for the Flaggists or the rubblebunkers or anyone who attempts to sow discord and disrupt our blissful city order and there never will be.
So to all you Flaggists and rubblebunkers and Zemblan disruptors. Listen, learn, or leave.
Sincerely,
One Mean, Mad, Malevolent Mofo
Editor’s Response
Dear One Mean, Mad, Malevolent Mofo,
We here at the Orator understand your anger and we take your letter seriously. Rest assured that we’re doing everything in our inkwise and pixelated power to ensure your suggestions are heard by those with the monopoly on real power in a position to enact your wise advice about listening, learning, or leaving.
And please remember, we’re no longer simply the Orange Forest Orator or OFO and we’ve never been OFOQers. We’re simply the Orange Forest Orator Quarterly or OFOQ.
Submit Your Letters Here: notabot@orangeforestonline.com
