April 1, 2025 – In a decisive victory for law and order, more than 500 Orange Forest Law Enforcement Corps (OFLEC) Law Enforcers forced a disorderly organization to disband.

The disorderly organization, generally referred to as Flaggists due to their penchant for waving flags and pennants bearing seditious messages, had been a thorn in the side of civic order for several months now.

Fortunately, OFLEC enforcers performed their duties admirably, crushing the movement now and forever more. The courageous Chief OFLEC Enforcer Bumford Loblolly led the vanguard assault on the subversive Flaggist movement, his presence on the front line rousing his fellow OFLEC enforcers as they risked life and limb to enforce public order, accommodate municipal interests, and protect the sacred rights of private property.

Top legal experts agreed that the Flaggists illegally conspired and actively engaged in subverting the public interest and common good by disrupting the free flow of private capital and stifling potential profits, thereby depriving the City of Orange Forest of its right to municipal self-determination as established in the original Cooley Doctrine and firmly re-affirmed by the 14th circuit’s 3-2 decision in City of Orange Forest v Keto Mojito. This judicious agreement provided enough justification for Chief Loblolly’s judgment in using all force necessary to enforce order.

With the operation now concluded successfully, the City can once more get back to what it does best: facilitate flows of pedestrians, traffic, supply chains, commerce, and, most importantly, capital. And let us not forget the selfless sacrifice of our men and women in blue, especially those who suffered injuries during the brutally violent response from the subhuman Flaggists. With more than 200 enforcers on paid leaves of absence due to the emotional distress caused by the Flaggists, we know their actions were not in vain. 

Remember, folks, if you suspect someone of being a Flaggist, be sure to tell the nearest OFLEC enforcer as quickly as possible! Do your part to help keep the flows flowing.