The Coolest: The Grande Armée of Fraternal Forester Executives hosted its annual New Year’s Eve party with a “Masquerade Ball” theme. Attendees were encouraged to wear fabulous masks and celebrate! Auntie Judy was in attendance, and she can say that it was THEE coolest VIP event of the season.

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The Coldest: Although Auntie Judy spent the evening in the balmy Brazen Bull, she absolutely saw all the videos and posts from all my babies who spent the night braving the blistering icy rains and the Flaggists’ enseatment to cheer in the New Year at the city’s midnight Leaf Turning ceremony. Your Auntie could not believe her eyes when that little leaf flew away, forever lost in the storm. I guess that’s one way to turn over a new leaf!

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The Warmest: The Garb Science apparel store held a Midwinter Fashion Trunk Show, unveiling the latest in tailored veils, bespoke cloaks, and other uberglam outergarb. Duh, you know your Auntie Judy got the coolest business cowls and prettiest party scarves at the best prices.

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The Cool Family Spot: The City of Orange Forest’s Festival of Lights, sponsored by Orforcorp, was a marvelous time, with the parking lot adjacent to Logistics Hub Complex Phase II packed to the brim with families gathered to see the tree-lighting ceremony. This year’s tree, chopped down just outside of the city limits, is a 12-foot conifer with bright orange needles that absolutely shimmers in the white tree lights. The event runs through the end of January. For the kids, Aunt Judy says to ride the train through the parking lot and be sure to visit the elves’ workshop next to Santa’s office on the south end of the parking lot to see how hard those cute pointy-eared elves work making all your favorite toys available exclusively from Orforcorp. For the adults, Aunt Judy highly recommends a mug of the spiced rum and cider from the Orforcorp Winter Cabin located at the north end of the Logistics Hub Complex II parking lot. Actually, make that two mugs.

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The Rawest Courant: Oh my babies, if ever there was some juice to splash, it’s that a certain City Board of Order Boardmember may or may not be extra getting close with a certain local high-profile executive. Don’t you worry, my babies, because your Auntie Judy is on the case and ready to dish the rawest courant once we know more.

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The Column’s Uncool Uncle: Without question, hesitation, or any chance for reconciliation, Aunt Judy names Herb Verberserker as this column’s Uncool Uncle. He knows what he did to deserve it. We all know.

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Other Coolness News: Yes, of course, your Auntie is aware of the drama surrounding the $75 hamburgers at Taco Tyrant. It’s caused quite the public divide. Some say it’s worth it, and others say it’s not up to par. Aunty Judy showed up to get the full scoop and share it with my babies. Yes, the burger was $74.99. Buuuut if you can spare the coin, it’s worth every penny. Consider getting one to go. Actually, make it two to go.

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