A violent and malicious group of ne’er-do-wells hellbent on destroying public property, causing a public nuisance, and potentially causing irreversible public harm has been disbanded and detained thanks to the heroic efforts of Orange Forest Law Enforcement Corps (OFLEC) Enforcers.

The barbarous lawbreakers spent the better part of the past week and more in Pebble Park, each one launching dangerous projectiles at vulnerable human targets with a sadistic tenacity that bordered on violating the Geneva Conventions.

Two battalions of OFLEC Enforcers, each outfitted with the latest military-grade protective gear, protest shields, and probably non-lethal weapons, swooped into Pebble Park in a pincher formation and quickly surrounded, subdued, and subjugated the extremely dangerous criminal group. In a remarkable show of restraint and professionalism by OFLEC Enforcers, the savage offenders sustained only minor injuries and minimal casualties.

With Pebble Park now cleared of the heightened aggravated assault risks posed by the ruffians, Orange Forest Park District crews can begin setting up for the upcoming Outdoor Pro Parkour Wintrywonderlandwalloo Tournament scheduled to take place Sunday, February 2. Have you gotten your tickets and placed your bets yet? Don’t delay! Get your tickets and place your bets today!